This is a phrase that I hear sometimes, and I am pretty sure I used it too. Often enough I hear it when I actually just feel tired and exhausted. Sometimes hearing it, I get angry and upset. It feels quite violating to be measured by the assumed changes of my inches. The instant thought process for me is: Why? What was wrong with me before? It’s also: none of your business!
It is a dangerous compliment . When we believe that our and others value comes from our weight and inches we miss so much! It is dangerous to to nurture ‘values’ like thinness in others and and ourselves.
Someone very close to me while traveling in Mexico got infected with dengue. She lost almost 10kg and was in hospital for many days suffering from unbearable pain. After recovering and posting some pics on Instagram the feedback was; OMG! You look amazing! etc. Luckily this person had a very good sense of her value and did not try keep that figure which was dangerously below her healthy weight. Unfortunately an episode like that can start serious eating disorders or disordered body issues.
Do not get me wrong, I had my fair share of body issues and feels like always wanted to be somehow thinner or taller, or etc. It took me many years of self discovery, finding my passion, having intense therapy and running many of The Daring Way™ groups (where I worked on my own body image issues) to be loving towards my body. Now the joy and fun that it provides overrides the insecurities that used to be there. I have lot’s of fun kicking some ass while practicing Muay Thai, swim or doing ashtanga yoga in the morning, dance in the kitchen or jumping around like crazy in a live concert.
So if you like to tell me that I look great, thank you, I would love that :))))