Losing someone to addiction carves a unique kind of hole into our hearts. We don’t just lose them once – addiction steals them from us again and again. We watch as they choose substances over family gatherings, as they vanish for days to drink with friends. Watch them disappear behind lies, drift toward people who celebrate their drinking or drug use. Watch as they slowly fade from their children’s lives until they fully disappear, repeating the hurt and abandonment that they may have experienced. Each absence reopens the wound; each return brings both hope and fear.
People wrestling with addiction often try to escape their reality by moving away – in 12-step programs, they call it ‘doing a geographical.’ They pack up their lives, hoping something will shift, but addiction travels with them like a tissue in the back pocket of a pair of jeans that messes up all the washing eventually. Without real therapeutic help, nothing changes. Many cultures wrap addiction in layers of denial. If someone manages to hold down a job or isn’t visibly drunk in public, society shrugs it off as normal – just a few drinks or joints here and there, like everyone else. But addiction doesn’t work that way. It creeps forward, gathering strength. Without clinical help, it spreads through lives like wildfire, destroying everything in its path. People slip away from us – not just through dramatic overdoses or accidents under the influence, but through the slow erosion of liver disease, through system failures that build over time, through mental breakdowns that shatter their world, and through suicide when the pain becomes too heavy to carry.
Losing someone to addiction haunts us differently than other losses. Guilt seeps into our thoughts – what if we had noticed sooner? What if we had pushed harder for help? What if we had done something differently? While guiding someone through addiction feels like navigating a storm without a compass, we can work together to reshape our society’s response:
– Stand firmly and compassionately against normalising destructive behaviours
– Dive deep into understanding addiction’s complexities
– Reach out to family and friends, sharing concerns with compassion
– Seek guidance from professionals who understand addiction
– Find strength in 12-step groups designed for families touched by addiction
– Remember to cherish the whole person beneath the addiction – if your friend battles alcoholism, suggest a walk in the park instead of meeting at the pub, share a meal instead of a drink, or explore new hobbies together.
When we understand addiction better, we can fight it better. Support groups teach us we’re not alone in this struggle. They show us how to care for ourselves while supporting our loved ones. Recovery happens in community – both for those battling addiction and for those who love them. By learning, sharing, and supporting each other, we create pathways toward healing for future generations.
