The Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research was recently discussed in articles published by the Guardian and the SMH. The report, which will be released today, will include the views of 34 survivors discussing the justice system in NSW. RMIT questioned victims of sexual assault about what they realised after or during discussing the incident with authorities. As a professional supervisor and psychotherapist, I found the findings of this study to be expected. The persons whose duty it is to protect and support victims often make matters worse by blaming and questioning the victims about their choice of clothing, demeanour, etc., as I have heard and read often in my own research and at my workplace.

The attacks on author Yumi Stynes because she wrote a book about sexuality for children aged 10 and up are another worrying and frustrating trend I’ve noticed. What she’s experiencing is criminal and psychotic in its severity.

I bought the book, although my kids are well over 10+ years old (my youngests, twins are turning 30 soon). This book would have been very helpful when they were small. The book is well-written, using clear, understandable language to address important issues. Some of the book’s discussions made me feel awkward or even embarrassed to read aloud, especially when I tried to imagine having these conversations with my children when they were 12 years old. But guess how do we get over the difficult stuff? By talking about them!!!

I can’t help but wonder what might have happened to the many people whose lives have been impacted by sex and love addiction, relationship problems, sexual abuse, or maltreatment as perpetrators or victims if they had this book when they were young.

I also think about what would have happened if the aggressive, cowardly men who abuse Yumi online had read this book when they were younger. Hopefully, they’d learn the importance of treating each other and oneself with respect and that they didn’t need buffed-up bodies and egos to feel worthwhile.

We need to do better to protect women and everyone on the gender spectrum. We need to do better to educate our young about sex, pleasure and respect.

We just need to do better!

Warmly

Andi

Support is available from the National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service at 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).