In my practice many clients walk through my door looking for support with their relational issues. As a trauma and attachment specialist I often imagine what their life was like at the start? Who was around, how did they learn how to relate, how did they learn who they are?

When we are born our personal selves develop through the relationships we have with our primary caregivers and via the reflections of our family and other community members. Our brains wire via thousands of small interactions of facial, vocal and feeling communications. If we have predictable, reliable and safe caregivers who attend to our physical and emotional needs we may develop secure, safe attachment. Later in life, relating to people and developing safe, mutually supportive and nurturing relationships may not be an issue if we were fortunate to have such a smooth start.

More often than not, this is not the case. We all have less then nurturing experiences as we grow up. Even ‘small’ things like mum having a hard time becoming a new parent or being busy with the other kids or working long hours can affect this developmental relational dynamic. Of course, bad things like trauma and neglect, divorce, lack of resources and abuse also happens. The spectrum of these experiences is vast and unique but each can affect the way we relate in our adult life and create personal challenges.

Psychotherapy is the perfect place to rewire our brains from the impacts of such experiences. Alongside a therapist you trust and feel safe with, you can discover the best version of yourself. Regular, weekly sessions can help you to develop the relational capacity that you yearn for and support you in understanding why you feel the way you do. The reflection of a caring, nurturing therapist empowers you to learn how valuable you are, as well as empowering you with knowledge of practical skills and strategies to create healthy and fulfilling relationships.

In the age of loneliness when we are more connected through machines than people it is important to have a space and practice of deep connection. Psychotherapy helps fulfill this intrinsic human need. We are neurobiologically wired for meaningful, deep connections. Our modern lifestyles do not support this so looking for it in other ways, such as weekly therapy, is vital for our well-being.

And trust me, you are worth it!