Christmas and New Years can bring up some angst for many of us. This is the time that we spend with family and friends, often with people who we do not necessarily get along with. Important time for practicing our boundaries. Think about how do you want to feel after the holiday season. Want to be energised and looking forward to 2016? Or want to be exhausted and feeling resentment towards family, friends and yourself? One of the best boundary setting reminder for me is what I learnt from Brené Borwn: “Choose discomfort over resentment”. Saying no, or removing our selves from a situation that can potentially be overwhelming is uncomfortable….but the alternative of not doing so, can stay with us for a long time as resentment. So check in with yourself: Do I really want to go to the 5th Christmas party this week? Do I really want to go to uncle Jim’s house for Christmas or I rather spend this special day with close friends? These are just silly examples but you know what am I getting at? 🙂
Feeling alone and lonely is an other experience that many of us have during this time of the year. I know it is really hard being alone and just giving some ideas of what to do won’t necessarily take away the pain. Isolating ourselves can make the pain worse, so here are some ideas what to do:
Each year The Wayside Chapel holds a Christmas day street party for the whole community. It is a very good way of hanging out with strangers and enjoy some good food and connection.
Christmas Carols are all over the city. It is lovely way to connect with some sense of celebration and even if you are alone, being surrounded with people and even maybe singing along 🙂 can really activate our social engagement system in our brain that helps us feeling more regulated and more in balance.
Try something new, like a dancing class. Learning new skills and moving our bodies can really make us feel fabulous, and you might even meet some lovely people.
Throw a dinner party for some new people. It can be a lovely nurturing feeling to cook and get ready and look after others.
It is also a great way to get to know people better.
Towards New Years Eve maybe you can start to think about a ritual that you can have, to let 2015 go and wait for 2016 with excitement. Here is a collection of rituals from all over the world to choose from or just to ignite your fire.
I hope you will have a peaceful, love filled Christmas and a very happy New Year!
Lot’s of love form Andi
